It's been a difficult week, and sometimes it feels like it's just getting tougher and tougher. My dog passed away this past weekend. Grieving is exhausting. There's often not enough time to hide away from the world to heal because life forces you to move forward. You go back to work. You deal with your family. You return missed messages. You start cleaning the dishes again. You answer emails. You do the laundry because you've run out of clean clothes. You interact with people who don't have a high enough emotional intelligence quotient even though you want to throw your shoe at them.
With retrograde ramping up, the struggles could intensify. So how do I honor how crappy I'm feeling without setting something in motion that I can't take back? These are the sorts of things you have to be mindful of during retrograde cycles - if you react poorly, it could have long lasting consequences.
You know that feeling - where you just feel numb, or your afraid of doing anything because you feel like it's just going to be the wrong thing? Those sort of patterns are very easy to fall into, and if you're not careful, you can spend years living in them. But any pain our mind can create, it can also heal. Every solution we're looking for already lives within us. The gratitude practice is something I've used in the past for myself to help ground when I'm feeling disconnected or sad.
So, using the energy of Wednesday's New Moon, I decided it was appropriate for retrograde to send me back to an old practice of healing. You can always start again, no matter how far gone you think you are. Always. And if you're able to use your pain in your statement, it can help anchor it to something grounding.
Some examples:
"Today sucked. It really sucked. I feel like everything went wrong. At the same time, I realize that I'm really lucky to have a friend I can call at any time of the day or night who can listen to me vent when things get tough. That's such a blessing."
"I really wish I didn't have to do all of this on my own all of the time, but I'm thankful to have myself to depend on. I never realized how strong I was until I had to go through this. Maybe this experience is just helping me build some life-muscle."
"These bills feel overwhelming. But knowing that I have a plan to tackle them helps me to feel like I can trust myself. I know it will take time, but I'm grateful that I've made the commitment to work hard towards living debt free."
"My heart is broken right now. I feel like I'm always getting hurt. I guess I'm kind of fearless with love. I love fully, and I know that deep down, it only shows the strength of my heart. While it might seem easier to be a different way, I'm grateful to know what it feels like to really care about someone. And, if I'm capable of loving someone else this much, I know that I can show that same love to myself right now."
Those are some examples of how you can take your pain, and turn it into something that reflects a beautiful feature you have within you, or in your life.
When you direct your energy to something grounding and nurturing, it sends it's resources to anything else inside your mind, heart, and spirit that needs to be healed. In this way, the setbacks you are experiencing are the loose threads waiting for you to weave them back into that strong braid connected to the Earth, and to your faith. Perspective is everything.
I'm grateful I was able to take time out of my day today to make someone else's a littler easier. I'm grateful someone slowed down in order to let me into their lane on such a busy traffic day. I'm grateful that my Mom called me over for dinner, especially because I was so tired and didn't feel like cooking. I'm grateful I was able to surround my dog with so much love in his final moments of life.
Start small, and build. If you've never done it before, I hope you start today.